You ask what has the Sipe family been up to...or maybe I am crazy and you don't care at all. But I am going to pretend that someone out there is reading this. Maybe you are someone I know, I have met, or maybe someone I don't know at all. But thank you in advance and I am going to apologize. This post might be too much for some of you....so if you can't handle an emotional female STOP READING.
Sometimes I ask myself how in the world does God think I can do this? Other times I think, I have to stay busy, that is just me. I am currently a wife, (to a wonderful husband, Ryan), a mother (to my beautiful children, Rylynn and Garrett), a case worker- full time, a part time grad school student, a tastefully simple consultant...and probably several other things. This is KILLING me, but I don't want to give any of it up.
The thing that is killing me the most is how much god is giving me to handle. At this point in time I am working very hard to keep my job. I wish people would keep their appointments, I would continue getting referrals, and no cancellations. I also wish God would give me 48 hrs in a day, because that is what I need right now.
Then my children....at this point in time, Rylynn is doing great she can't wait for school to start, but over the summer the school is recommending that she gets in for therapy to help her for when school starts....so we have to check that out, of course no place here where we live.
Then there is Garrett...and that is where my heart is breaking the most right now. I am asking ' Why God?' ' Why my son? Why punish him?I can't handle all these appointments'
We found out at Riley Hospital on Thursday he is aspirating again. Therefore he will be having surgery on July 2nd. They will be insterting a G-tube in him so he can eat. At this point we have been told he will have the G-tube until Spring of 2011. So the first question that comes to my mind is will my baby be able to dig into his first birthday cake? What if it doesn't come out in the spring then what? On top of that he is to continue getting physical therapy and they want him to be evaluated for occupational therapy to be seen weekly. SO another appointment. I don't know where I am going to get my eneregy or how I am going to come up with the time, I am hoping God will help me.
Why I am sharing this? I honestly don't know. I just pray I can remain for my little man. Lord knows right now he is my rock!
5 comments:
I can certainly identify Miranda. Allow yourself to have your moments of disappointment, sadness and grief. Don't beat yourself up for it. And then remember that God isn't punishing you, he found you to be more special than most parents, because He's entrusted you with a most special child. I'll pray for you!
We're praying for you and hope that Garrett begins to improve soon!
See, people are reading! :) Miranda, it's good you are doing things you love, but maybe not all of them are for this season in your life? There have been times when I've had to lay down stuff I truly enjoy because other things held a higher priority. Pray about if there is anything the Lord wants you to set down for now, just for this season? Maybe you're not supposed to carry all this load? Are there things you can pick up again---maybe 12-24 months from now--so your load is less right now? I hope you can find the balance you need...you have to keep yourself healthy too! I'll be praying for you!
Miranda- Oh boy- you brought tears to my eyes! Praying for you daily and especially Garrett. Will continue to pray for strength as you have a lot going on right now. You and Ryan have been selected to care for such a special little guy. I know it seems like a big deal if he doesn't get to eat his birthday cake- but that's rather small- he won't even know. I remember when Michaela had to wear her eye patch for a year and we had to drive to Carmel weekly for therpy. Oh- those nightly exercises, too. This too shall pass. Stay strong and continue strong in your faith. Don't be afraid to ask others for help. I know that czn be hard- but you have people out there who care and love you. Let me know what I can do! Prayers will continue! Love ya!
Hang in there Miranda, you are truly one of the strongest people I know. If anyone can get through all of this, it is definitely you. Please do not hestitate to call if you need ANYTHING! I'd be happy to come help you clean, bring you a meal, or just listen if you need to vent. I'll be keeping your family in my prayers. Love ya!
Tara
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